Silver splitters hit the headlines again

Silver splitters hit the headlines again
When the road gets tough.

Sadly, the issue of so-called 'silver splitters' hit the headlines again this month, with the sad news media baron Rupert Murdoch and his fourth wife, Jerry Hall appear to have decided to divorce.

Statistics show people entering divorce are gradually getting older and have been married longer with divorce among those over the age of 55, increasingly dominating the court system.

While no one wants to encourage any couple to stay together when they would be happier living part, there are some key steps any older couple should think about taking before they do divorce.

Firstly, spend some time apart. Try to move past any issues that are causing repeated anger and tension within the relationship and take concrete steps to find peace and quiet within yourself.

Often the problem within a relationship is really more about a problem within yourself. Something that you are profoundly unhappy about, which relates either to yourself personally or your life generally.

Step back and try to work through what is really important to you in life. Ideally you should write these thoughts down and live with them for a while and revisit them in a month or two.

Secondly, find a caring marriage counsellor to help you transition to your new single life. Even if you or your partner is adamant the marriage is over, a marriage counsellor will help you find a better path forward.

While older divorcees are most likely saved from stressful custody issues regarding children, it is still important for you to help your children understand what is going on.

Often it can come as a distressing shock to adult children, who might have a deep belief that their parents are truly happy and committed to each other, and they can be greatly distressed to learn otherwise.

Thirdly, take your time in working through your financial situation. Increasingly many older couples remain living under the same roof to minimise the financial stress of a divorce in the short term.

As long as you can both do this in a vaguely amical way, this can be a good strategy and can allow you both to become adjusted to life apart. Take your time and think through your options.

Divorce, sadly is the big ''asset killer'' in most people's lives, particularly if lawyers become involved and can be a key source of impoverishment among those in retirement, particularly for women.

The best advice for anyone going through a divorce is to simply stay as calm as you can, try to be kind and generous to your soon to be ex-partner and focus on the better days that are waiting for you.